Bonus Disc: Extras and Special Features

When I decided I’d like to start writing again, I decided to consult the expertise of someone who actually makes a living writing.  Katie Brandt, http://katiescarlettbrandt.blogspot.com/, @katiehappens. 

Below, see some excerpts from my Gchat “How to Be a Writer” lessons.  Watch and learn.

She always sets out an action plan for me:

katie: ok so

  first you need to set up a twitter account

me: ughhhhh

I seek her advice, but am careful not to become a burden:

me: so it is hard to write more things

  do you have any helpful critiques for me?

katie: ok i'll do a read-through now and then write back to you tomorrow, k?

me: AHHH can't you just look at it fast right now?

did you like that last one?

katie: um right now i have to read my friend's masters thesis

  so cannot comment in depth

  but yes, i liked it

me: high praise

She is full of motivational words:

katie: you need to tweet more

  make yourself do 1/day at least

me: ughhh

katie: oh come on

  just jump in

  you have to completely

  no half assing

After the dreamy experience of not writing anything for at least six years, then banging out something pretty sweet in like 2 hours, and having it published on the internet  for (potentially) thousands of viewers, I kind of thought I could just sort of do this bitch, no prob.  

Turns out, the internet is a scary place – a place where fame is gained through dogged clicking and retweeting and repinning and commenting on your internet friends and acquaintances in a seemingly endless loop.  Everyone is welcome, sure, but nobody gets anywhere without clawing their way through Twitter feeds and checking Jezebel every hour.      

It’s a strange juxtaposition.  Writing is inherently an introverted pursuit, where you’re advised to silence all the inner critics and just be yourself.  Now, in the age where anyone can put stuff up to be viewed, you have to fight for attention if you want to be seen.  Writing requires a gregarious internet personality, a witty and jovial icon who whirls through the social media outlets laughing and joking and patting people on the back.  It’s pretty stressful.  I get it why they pay people to do this full time.  

Pretty sure I am not going to be able to quit my day job.  Ever.  For now, I will be an awkward little wall flower smiling and looking dumb and sometimes trying to dance around without anyone really noticing.