I know many will disagree with
me that college is a complete and grossly expensive waste of everyone’s time,
but after I finally freed myself from the tyrannical rule of Sallie Mae, I
truly wonder if it was all worth it.
Instead of the promised “best years of my life,” college felt in many
ways like a colossal step backward on the life continuum.
 |
| Me, in college, looking awkward. Note the terrible khaki capris. |
In high
school, I had a developed a pleasant, overachieving rhythm of eat, sleep, work,
get A’s on everything, go to youth group, watch Frazier on a Friday night by
myself, and occasionally get together with some girlfriends to go to On the
Border and watch Sex and the City DVD’s.
The
weekend I left for school felt like the beginning of a new bizarro
lifestyle. As my parents and I got into
the car to take me to school, my grandparents came to take care of my younger
siblings. As we all tearfully embraced
goodbye, my mom and grandma were crying so hard that my grandpa remarked,
“She’s not going to Auschwitz; they’re taking her to a nice Christian college.” My parents drove me up to school with my
Rubbermaid tub of belongings, and the three of us stayed alone in a hotel – a
night characterized by awkwardly formal conversation. They left half way through “Welcome Weekend”
because I was like, “Well…I guess there isn’t really anything else for you do
to do now?”
As I began my first official week as a college freshman, I felt adrift. What the heck was I supposed to do all day? I had been training to be an adult, and had been enjoying the purposefulness and meaning that my little routine life had created. Now, I found myself without a job, without a car, stranded in a huge square building crammed with people exactly my age, fed meals at designated times that I didn’t choose for myself, and asked politely to attend just a few hours of class a day. It felt like preschool. Seriously, I can handle more than this, you guys.
I wasn’t a huge nerd, but I took some hard classes in high school – classes where I had to read and study. I had grown used to some heavy lifting, but my new college classes felt like geriatric aerobics. If I listened in lecture and posed some vague and controversial comments – “Well, we all agree that Ahab was seeking the whale. But what if he’s really seeking something else…?” – and read the first paragraph of each chapter, I could write a pretty decent paper. During my student teaching, I was often so exhausted from the early mornings that I’d go to “Philosophy of Education,” put my hair in front of my face and go to sleep – occasionally jerking awake to people rambling about Locke and Rousseau and how the entire American school system is a failure. I was student teaching. Was it worth losing that hour of sleep to hear what I was experiencing daily?
What’s that you say? Maybe I chose an “easy” college? Well, I went to two over the course of my four years, and both were private and of good repute. Maybe you really do have to go an Ivy League school. I was also an English and Education major, which did greatly reduce the number of Latin terms I had to memorize or chemical compounds I had to create - and this of course does cut down on study time,
My husband is an engineer, and you can bet your butt that he learned stuff in his classes, and he worked his own butt off doing so. But not being a student of the hard sciences, what did I pay for in an undergraduate degree? When a professor begins a senior level literature course with “Well, what did you think about the book?” is it really right to request monthly installments for the next 15 years? I could have joined a book club…for free.
After spending 4.5 years doing this nonsense, I graduated with SO MUCH debt. When my husband and I got married, we became debtors together. It felt very much like someone had taken my little plastic “Life” car and moved it backwards on the path. No little peg children or new house for you, pink car. You have loans, son.
I am still bitter at the teachers and guidance counselors who expounded the “world is your oyster” doctrine. “Go to any school you want! Pursue your dream! Fear not for money or career opportunities, for there are student loans and a degree is always an asset!” I waste no opportunity to climb my soapbox whenever youngsters cross my path. “Research your degree! DO factor in money when you choose your school!
But, when I was done, I had a teaching certification and did get a good job right away. I suppose I did receive the inheritance promised me as a college graduate. But that was back in 2006. Were I to be a 2012 graduate, I’m sure my fate would not be the same. However, I am also currently employed and couldn’t be in my job without my degree. So perhaps, after all this, I actually am a hypocrite. The real reason for most of this angst is the fact that my 23 year old brother, who works in sales and has no interest in college, is currently earning much more than I am.
As I began my first official week as a college freshman, I felt adrift. What the heck was I supposed to do all day? I had been training to be an adult, and had been enjoying the purposefulness and meaning that my little routine life had created. Now, I found myself without a job, without a car, stranded in a huge square building crammed with people exactly my age, fed meals at designated times that I didn’t choose for myself, and asked politely to attend just a few hours of class a day. It felt like preschool. Seriously, I can handle more than this, you guys.
I wasn’t a huge nerd, but I took some hard classes in high school – classes where I had to read and study. I had grown used to some heavy lifting, but my new college classes felt like geriatric aerobics. If I listened in lecture and posed some vague and controversial comments – “Well, we all agree that Ahab was seeking the whale. But what if he’s really seeking something else…?” – and read the first paragraph of each chapter, I could write a pretty decent paper. During my student teaching, I was often so exhausted from the early mornings that I’d go to “Philosophy of Education,” put my hair in front of my face and go to sleep – occasionally jerking awake to people rambling about Locke and Rousseau and how the entire American school system is a failure. I was student teaching. Was it worth losing that hour of sleep to hear what I was experiencing daily?
What’s that you say? Maybe I chose an “easy” college? Well, I went to two over the course of my four years, and both were private and of good repute. Maybe you really do have to go an Ivy League school. I was also an English and Education major, which did greatly reduce the number of Latin terms I had to memorize or chemical compounds I had to create - and this of course does cut down on study time,
My husband is an engineer, and you can bet your butt that he learned stuff in his classes, and he worked his own butt off doing so. But not being a student of the hard sciences, what did I pay for in an undergraduate degree? When a professor begins a senior level literature course with “Well, what did you think about the book?” is it really right to request monthly installments for the next 15 years? I could have joined a book club…for free.
After spending 4.5 years doing this nonsense, I graduated with SO MUCH debt. When my husband and I got married, we became debtors together. It felt very much like someone had taken my little plastic “Life” car and moved it backwards on the path. No little peg children or new house for you, pink car. You have loans, son.
I am still bitter at the teachers and guidance counselors who expounded the “world is your oyster” doctrine. “Go to any school you want! Pursue your dream! Fear not for money or career opportunities, for there are student loans and a degree is always an asset!” I waste no opportunity to climb my soapbox whenever youngsters cross my path. “Research your degree! DO factor in money when you choose your school!
But, when I was done, I had a teaching certification and did get a good job right away. I suppose I did receive the inheritance promised me as a college graduate. But that was back in 2006. Were I to be a 2012 graduate, I’m sure my fate would not be the same. However, I am also currently employed and couldn’t be in my job without my degree. So perhaps, after all this, I actually am a hypocrite. The real reason for most of this angst is the fact that my 23 year old brother, who works in sales and has no interest in college, is currently earning much more than I am.
I had khaki capris as well and they were awesome. I still remember them fondly. :) I actually have a picture of myself wearing them in a Guatemalan tree hanging in our living room; not to memorialize them but because it was a cool moment on the trip. Only made cooler by the capris I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteAnd I was that girl who, while reading, wondered if you chose an "easy" college or degree. I remember studying all the time to try and maintain my 4.0 at U of M the first few years, working a little, volunteering a little, and eventually hanging out with Luke more than a little. Good times. Not the best years of my life (I always feel like the last one has been the best), but definitely good.
Side comment, I could totally hear you say "SO MUCH" in my head.
Yes, kahiki capris...I don't think Stacy and Clinton ever suggest those to anyone struggling with their image. "Your wardrobe needs some circa 1995, stonewashed khaki capris" is never a phrase they would let slide off of their perfectly primped lips.
ReplyDeleteNice alliteration. It's appreciated here at Cheese.
ReplyDelete